Why you haven’t heard from me for some time

I got robbed, but it’s okay! Life has been happening, I got Married! Now that’s Awesome!

PS: This Letter was written in bits, so you may see dates and time stamps from when I came back each time to drop some news. Cool, Yea?

6^th  of June, 2023

I took a line from Nightbirdies song ‘It’s Okay’ and I just realized while struggling to write this that you dear reader may have been wondering ‘where did she go”.

You can’t wait till life isn’t hard to be happy – Nightbird

This got to me some days ago, while watching the auditions of the Mmazi choir tribute to Nightbird and just thought to myself, sinking in the fact that no matter what happens to me, it is actually okay to keep living life and being happy. Because we only give the devil much power when we cry and cry about what we have lost or the things we no longer have, instead of being appreciative of the life that we have and the things that God has been doing for us.

So, I got up and started typing!

Guess it’s going pretty fine.

Dear Friend, it hasn’t been much fun without sending you these letters, I missed this thing we had going and I am super happy that I am back, and I truly hope that you have been good.

On the 18^th of May 2023, on my way back from a Tech Hub learning space, I entered the wrong bus and got robbed in the most bizarre way ever, now talking about it is quite funny because I am now of the opinion that overcarefulness is not just something that even works, just God protecting his children and making sure that they don’t get hurt.

And I didn’t get hurt!

Yes, dear friend, I didn’t get hurt physically even though I was practically pushed out of the bus and my bag torn to get my phone.

Even though my money was taken after my sister helped me ask one of my banks to block the account. It was tearful, painful and traumatic.

For the next 48 hours proceeding the 18^th of May, I felt every bit of anger, bitterness, disgust, irritation for everything that had happened. I had a heavy heart; my face wasn’t bright and my mood wasn’t just something to be proud of.

What if they stabbed you? That’s what mum said when she entered my room and saw me just staring and reading a book that I clearly wasn’t concentrating on.

What if they kidnapped you? That’s what my younger sister, Sunita said to me when I diverted all the anger into cleaning the house over and over again.

What if they were ritualists? That’s what my whole family were saying and I remember vividly that I asked the bus conductor to drop me off and he refused initially (that was when I noticed their movements).

It all came back to me, how ungrateful and silly had I been? Why was I still angry and bitter over something that could have been way worse?

Something that the holy spirit saw and went to tell God “God, your daughter is in trouble, she got into a wrong bus” and God probably answered “No harm can come to her, just divert their attention”

So, they took the iPhone

So, they cleared my account

So what?

I am alive and that’s what matters! I can make the money they took again, Like Rukky said, that iPhone will be stale in 10 years to come. Don’t bother yourself!

So, the past few weeks has been about thanking God that I am alive and that the story wasn’t one of a more heart wrecking situation, especially for my family.

It has also been a time to reflect and ponder on how sufficient the mercies of God have been over my life.

It has also made me think deeply about how we care for one another, because you may be thinking that someone hasn’t reached out to you but what if that person is in no condition to do so. A lot has happened over the last one month that I now am of the opinion that if you think about someone now, please reach out to them.

Don’t think that they should reach out first, or that if they want to talk to you then they should do the needful, not everyone will be around for the longest time, it’s a painful truth, so while they are still here, give them their flowers.

29^th of July, 2023

I am here seated on this work chair of mine, trying to work as usual, trying to write but it’s been just so hard to concentrate and that is because so much has happened over the past months.

The idea that we can only hope for the best even while experiencing some major changes in our lives hits harder than normal. So, I guess that it’s been a long time coming yea? To just sit and breathe in all that’s been going on. They say in life that you don’t know till it happens to you. You can’t tell till that strange fact begins to occur.

Lately, I have had some time to reminisce about life, people and who we are in the real state of things and it has left me opinionated about certain hidden attributes that we possess as human beings living together and cohabiting in this single large space called “earth’.

So, today as I write the bits of this letter to you, I am in the purest realization of what is and what is to come, I am salvaging the little strength that I have found within me and just using it to do the barest minimum, which I hopefully think should count for something.
This reminds me of my conversation with a friend in the earliest hours of today when I had informed her of some certain things that had happened to me over the weeks and she made a statement that gladdened the corners of my heart “This is your time to blossom and all I can see is light, keep shinning and let no one dim it”.

For some few minutes after this conversation, I wondered about her response, good as it was and I know she is reading this letter now, I opined that she had always been someone of plenty visions and yes, she meant every word which would eventually reveal its truth. The truth in the fact that we should never give anyone the opportunity to dim our lights no matter how shinny its blindly to them.

August 22^nd, 2023: 9am

Today I go to court to find out if my elder sister and I actually have a connection like I have always thought. This is the day I actually get a real court wedding date which I would really want to be this Thursday and not the next one as the Nigerian court marriage registry says. Hopefully, I get them to favor my beautiful face.

August 22^nd, 2023: 12pm

I am here seated with my traditionally wedded husband man, oh guys I know I did a fast track and didn’t really scream it out loud. Your favorite writer got hitched by a kind and adorable man, my best friend and shinning light. He said ‘Be my wife” I said “Why not”?

So, lets continue this story before I go back in time again, I am here waiting for my turn as I whisper into my husband’s ears that I am sure they would give us the 24^th of August and not the next one, he seems relaxed but not bothered about the date in particular, he just wants me to smile.

So, after I stepped inside, they all act like they have known me from the days of Adam and Eve, you could tell that my name is Amanda and I am worthy of love, that’s why I haven’t found a person who actually has a good enough reason to hate me.

The woman attending to me tells me that 24^th has been filled and as she sees the sadness on my face, she immediately looks at her wide sheet of paper and says “maybe I can fill you in”.

I remember feeling overwhelmed and excited, I began making calls to share my happiness and joy with those I felt should be aware that this legal matter don set. (Has been finally set).

24^th of August

Those who know me well understand my personality and I appreciate them for it, on this day, I saw my pictures everywhere even though I didn’t share the photographs. Guess my sister, Sunita Daniels Atelier couldn’t just keep calm about it all. I got so many messages and calls and prayers and I just felt blessed. To have genuine love around you is not just a normal thing that you should take for granted because its very hard to find genuine love these days, the type that doesn’t count wrong or faults but such that just seeks to brighten up your smile as much as they could.

My elder sister’s birthday was on this day, Casandra Ayodele, Creative Director of Health Mart with Cassie (You should check her on IG and also on YouTube as Casandra Ayodele for various food recipes that would blow your mind)

So, with that being said, I had the most blissful court wedding joining with lunch later in the day with my awesome family, while Casandra was thousands of miles away celebrating her birthday on the same day. Video calls and all, it was a mirror bliss.

September 15^th
Life and its Surprises, Never Give Up

I decided to write to you today, dear friend because of the many reasons there is to just pen down words as they linger in my soul, I hopefully wish that I have the courage to send this letter out one day, maybe when my thoughts are fully complete.

I am of the opinion that life would throw lots of irregularities around you and it all depends on what you do with these bits, do you make it tear you down and intimidate your happiness or do you move on like it never happened.

If you have ever felt the need to get depressed over the issues and challenges that you face on a daily basis as regards how to deal with issues that may spring forth and try to steal your joy, I urge you to kindly remember that your happiness and joy is more worthy than whatever reason there is to the chaos surrounding you.

So, you get up and wash your face. You put on some fresh clothes, wear your favorite cologne and giddy up. Yea, because you wont just give up. Not yet!

Its weird to have strange occurrences come up at the weirdest times, at the time you feel you should have sanity and love and peace, then life starts to throw tantrums and very funny tricks to get you moody and make you feel less or feel like a horrible person who should beg for love and support and care or maybe genuine concern.

I think in times like this, you start to wonder why you never saw it coming, maybe you did and you decided to feign ignorance and just not give it plenty of thought because you trusted so much and let down your guard. So, you start to beat yourself up for even letting things get to the point that gave life the audacity to throw such menaces in form of occurrences and behaviors at you.

With this, I feel that we are more than what happens to us. So, let’s keep moving. It doesn’t matter what has happened. Just keep living life and getting used to strange things happening all the time. Maybe not so strange because you did see it coming!

14^th October, 2023

On this day, I walked down the aisle with my father holding my hands. A moment I had dreamt so much of since I was a kid, the fact that this man, this great man whom I have learnt so much from. This protector that God gave to me on earth from my first breathe, will be so willing to give me out to someone he now calls ‘son’. How memorable.

I felt this joy in my soul, being in the midst of the most adorable people, my family and friends on this day, the smiles on their faces as I walked into my awesome home church ‘The Lords Crew Global’ in my white wedding custom beaded dress made by my own younger sister and fashion guru; SUNITA DANIELS ATELIER.

The tears in some of their eyes as I read my vows and the amazement in others as the whole event took place in the most fondly subtle way ever.

My highlights were seeing my elder sister and my brother-in-law (THE BEST ELDER BROTHER GOD GAVE ME) as they dressed fully to virtually attend my wedding all the way from the ABROAD.

I also found that a lot of other persons who were not in Lagos and Nigeria joined this event, smiling with the frames of their mouth wide with just pure love.

I was also blessed that my Husband and I, had the opportunity to meet Minister Dunsin Oyekan and have him pray with us as we started life together.

I guess it was safe to say that my vows made the rounds. Come on friends, couldn’t have let you all down as the writer that I am.

I was also happy that my wedding lunch was blissful and quite classical, the ambience and scenery was just beyond imaginations. We had the most interesting, cozy and close knitted modern wedding lunch. If I had ever wanted anything, it was to have familiar faces around me on my big day, thankfully grateful that I ended up with a husband that shared the same exact views. Happily, my Nigerian family supported me in the best way ever.

PS: Also, happy to have been the first bride to have eaten 4 meals on her big day!

So, this letter is an opportunity to also thank every single person who made me smile on that day, to my family and every friend who genuinely thought it worthy to honor my selected invitation, to every friend who gave their unconditional support and love. To my Pastors; Pastor Ola Dickson, Pastor Bukola, Pastor Anne, Pastor Joshua, Pastor Elizabeth and the many men and women of God of the Lords Crew Global. You all showed me what the term ‘Christ-like means and for that I am honored.

20^th December, 2023

It’s been some months now, and I am here again, penning down my thoughts and reminiscing on the past few months and what has happened and how it has influenced my thoughts. Although my word for you dear friend today is quite different.

Never Let Anyone Dim Your Light

I have always preached the message of self-love and self-belief and how it shapes our thoughts and actions to do more for ourselves in life. Over the past few months, I have had the time to think about my self a lot and how I needed to believe in my strengths and work on my weaknesses because I am definitely far from perfect, but most importantly I have had reasons to decide that no one was worthy enough to dim my light or let me stop shinning.

I even came up with a quote that ‘if they can’t stand the light, they probably should bring them shades. Yea, and I think that’s pretty cool to be a constant recitation. Only if you believe that you are strong enough and that you have things covered. If you don’t believe, how else do you expect anyone to believe in you and not run you down.

Dear friend, you are so beautiful and worthy of great things and I must implore you to choose right, those who will go on this journey with you, not the naysayers and the ones who will invalidate the good you are trying to do, not the ones who always find a reason why what you are doing is not so good enough or the ones who always have an excuse to be angry or upset about the good you have going.

So, in the atmosphere of the new year just by the corner, its not a time for awkward cancellations of people or persons but of knowing who you are and not giving anyone the opportunity to make you feel like your life depends on them and their decisions for you to thrive or have joy.

16^th January, 2024.

It’s the new year and I feel like the vibe is very pleasant and blissful and opportunities have sprung up from various angles. I am glad to be almost done with the Old Testament of the good book; THE BIBLE. My prayer life and Love for God has increased so much that all I see is the Love of God and ways to share it with those around me. I am also thankful for the opportunity to finally send you this letter and subsequent letters and hope to be consistent this year.

A lot of good happened to me last year, while it started with ups and downs, it surely ended with ups and I know that this year comes with great tidings.

Dear Friend, in this new year, I wish you all the best and joy to come, I wish you many great things and peace of mind, I hope you get all you desire and do the things you have always wanted to do.

I am always rooting for you and will always be here in your corner to cheer you up and support you unconditionally.

Whatever happens in life, never forget who you are and never change the love that should saturate to others.

Life comes with its bunch of surprises, but it should never pull you down

Keep shinning and keep winning, you are getting closer.

Finally dear friend; Every stage of life comes with lessons; we learn and unlearn and grow with it. It teaches us and makes us better. We are who we are because of our experiences and what we have chosen to do with them.

Here’s some flowers for you.

Till Next Time,

Warm Regards,

Amanda Sibi.