SO SORRY

I ALSO GET OVERWHELMED

Hey Fam, I know its been so long I wrote to you.

This newsletter is more or less an apology for breaking the sync and not telling you why, I have been blessed by your comments and inputs, your shares and likes and I must say that its dazzles me as well as overwhelms me with so much love.

Over the past few months, the journey of finding myself has been my most treasured challenge or task, well I loved every bit of it. I decided to take on some new stuff and programs, both intellectual and entertaining. I hoped for a whole lot and even though they are not fully accomplished, I can say boldly that its a long way from beneath.

I also learnt more about God in this period of sudden aloneness, this period of rediscovery, I realized that I was giving from a cup and not pouring back into it, didn’t want no drain up. I checked the innermost part of my soul and searched countlessly for reasons to go on, to move on, to water the plant, to study more for myself, to find a unique voice. All these things, waking me up from the slumber that even when we decide to pour on others, we should also go back and pour into our souls.

I know its been so long I wrote specifically to you dear, but my heart has come to a place of steadiness, reason and sanctity. My fingers pinch me to jump on my keyboards and stretch forth these words, so maybe we can start over by saying

Hey, I have missed you dearly

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We all struggle in different ways in life and mine was getting overwhelmed with everything around me, it started like a simple thing of not wanting, not caring enough and finally blanking out. I got overwhelmed with the fact that many things where expected of me, that people wanted to see a part of me I never thought was there, I had high hopes…..So I guess its fair?

Along this period, I wondered what most people felt when they could not handle it anymore, when it was all so frustrating, the timelines and deadlines, the never ending many duties and responsibilities, the financial obligations, the family endearments, all in all, life and its too much dictates.

How did I do it?

Did I work it out? Yea maybe.

I surely did not solve the issue like a math problem but I took time off to comprehend myself and who I am. You should do that too. I read books, inspirational and educational, romantic and crime novels which by the way are my best. I watched more videos that sparked my interest, like cake making videos and Steve Harvey’s Videos. I organized my space more often, something I am crazy about, I spent time with the most important people in my life, I got more friendly with my journal, my secret diary and girlie for life.

In all these things, I ended up spending my months not only working but finding and liking myself, getting in tune with my personality, and loving the process.

Sometimes, we cannot figure it all, we do not even know where to start from, but the most important thing is to have some few minutes for ourselves, not crowded with ambitious thinking or very strict worrying and confusion. Just some time off, relaxing alone and eating an ice cream.

Did I forget to add that I ran a lot this period? I did and it reminded me of all the medals I won back in high school. It felt good.

You can also do something that makes you happy, something that reminds you of the times you were highly appreciated and cheered.

Taking some time off should be respected by everyone, its a process of rediscovery and you need every bit of it.

I have a friend who took a lot of time off social media and sent some select people a post notification message that he would not be available over the next few months, he could take calls and text messages but he was not going to turn on his WhatsApp or Instagram or Facebook or any other app that involved seeing a whole lot of other things. We all respected it.

So dear friend, even when it looks like you cannot get away from it all, when it feels like; who’s going to be there for them. Understand clearly that you cannot be there for someone if you eventually break down, emotionally and physically.

I would like you to do very few things for yourself;

• Get a notepad or a journal

• Write few words about who you think you are ( Personality)

• Answer in your thoughts whether you have been YOU all these while or just overwhelmed with every single thing

• Write down the fun things you would love to try out

• Start with one every week even if you dedicate a fragment of your time to it

• Write down some words of affirmation only peculiar to you

This is mine ; Amanda Sibi, I know I am beautiful and worthy, I admire myself and love the woman I am becoming, and even if I understand that in the process of becoming, there are thorns on the way, challenges and trials, I will continue to do the things I love, I will continue to aspire for greatness, I will not be scared by my dreams, I shall be driven so much by them, In large frames will I see them come to pass. Happiness, Peace and Love surrounds my bothers.

When writing these words of affirmation, one line struck me most- I will not be scared by my dreams, I shall be driven so much by them.

Write your affirmations today and start your own journey of rediscovery and always know that as the sun shines bright, so shall your smiles shine all through.

PS: Get ready to hear from me every Friday from now on and lets make it a date.

I will also diversify my newsletters to teaching about business, life, God and relationships

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Thankful
Amanda Sibi.