Self-Confidence; Wear it like a cloth!

The most beautiful thing you can wear is self confidence

-Blake Lively

I once told someone years ago that the only thing I knew I had which was self-driven was my confidence. I was not bragging but trying to make this person understand that I could not be intimidated, bullied, let down or made to ever believe that I lacked value or would never fulfil my dreams.

Dear friend,

Just as Blake Lively said; the most beautiful thing you can wear is self-confidence, I must say that I immediately resonated to his quote because it complimented the belief, I had about myself all these years, I have always wanted to be self-expressive, not harmful with my words but expressive with words that could heal, touch and change the world. Trying to take any of these from me is like asking me to stop drinking water, truth is I really can’t.

My letter to you today is very intentional, because the insecurities of this vain world can ultimately and dishonorably take away the confidence of anyone, I mean it when I say that this world is a jack of plenty troubles, funny and ruthless species in the form of human beings and many battles that may prompt you to feel like you giving up or lose any sense of confidence.

If you are confident about nothing, be confident about yourself. It is the first step to maintaining a standard value for yourself, it is one of the ways to become who you truly want to become, having no self confidence is more or less like giving up totally on life and accepting whatever dish is being prepared.

I would not try to bore you by the meaning of having self-confidence, but I would Glady say that;

Believing in your abilities and talents
Believing that you are worth it
Understanding and believing that you have value
Believing that you can be whatever you set your mind to be
Believing and trusting in your self
Accepting YOU for who you are
Believing that you are beautiful and need no comparison
Believing that your shape, face, status and whatever is a junked-up perception of ‘who is who’ in the society, is not what defines you
Believing that your dreams can come through, is pretty much as good a definition.

I hope this summed it up characteristically, because you can’t dream big if you have no self-confidence, everything about other people bothers you if you lack self-confidence, I say this because the lack of self-confidence is the beginning of insecurities.

I once told someone close to me to stop belittling herself in public, I guess that at the time she felt that by saying she wasn’t enough, or didn’t know anything or didn’t have value, people could come to her rescue and make her feel better. Thinking about it now, it makes no sense at all, how do you intentionally make yourself feel less just to get approval from others. I am happy that I stepped in.

I remember telling this person that having confidence is like an energy which spreads, because it is what you tell people or show people about you that would determine how they see you, relate with you and value you. If you lack self confidence in yourself, if you do not believe in yourself, no one can. It is almost like giving people a go-ahead card to walk all over you.

The only self-thought barrier building a wall against you and your dreams is the lack of self-confidence, discipline, hard work, commitment, and gratitude.

You could have been wondering why I added gratitude to the list, this is because gratitude is a supporter of process, and process is a definer of dreams, whether big or small. If you ever have lacked gratitude for the positive things that has been happening in you in life, I urge you to start having a thankful heart. The small things we are less thankful and ungrateful for are the steps to our future big story.

Self-confidence is not just a gift or in-born talent that a child comes into this world with, even children sometimes lack self-confidence, the confidence to take a first step, to stop crawling but start walking, to start speaking, to start writing, but they do it anyway because it comes as a process. I often tell people that life is a process, and whatever we need to live healthy and beautiful lives can be gotten from taking things one at a time.

So, if you are convinced that you need some spark of self-confidence, please understand that it is a process and something that can be improved upon, especially when you make the decision to.

Understand that it starts with trying and believing that you can do something, no matter how little or insignificant, starting with small goals can improve your self-confidence and how you see yourself. If you tell yourself that you have to take a stroll every Tuesday by 5 pm and you make the effort to show up and do it, who says you cannot tell you self to start that new course or business you have always wanted.

Cultivating a positive attitude for yourself starts with voicing out the beauties that lies within you, it starts with saying that you are worth it and believing it. It is normal for negative thoughts to crowd your head once in a while, but when they do, kindly kick them away and sweep them out, because they truly have no right to be in your head.

Thoughts like “I can’t do it, I will just fail” “Maybe they don’t like me because I am not beautiful” “I am too fat, who’s going to love me” “I failed last time, not taking the test again” these negative thoughts can fuel the desire to never try.  

Acknowledging that you have certain worries and fears can also help you improve self-confidence because knowing that you have challenges doesn’t mean living in it or carrying it as a sign board. Rather, it helps you overcome them.

Practicing self-care is another important factor to helping you improve self-confidence because treating yourself right is the best thing you can do even before treating others right.

Finally dear friend, I know it’s a culture that you must imbibe, a practice that you must follow, a principle that you must observe and a dress or coat that you must wear. However, while you do these, remember that self-confidence is an attitude and lifestyle, understand that self-confidence is not fake or proud or a sign of disrespect to others.

In the end, its all about how you feel about yourself, there is no perfect person but being confident in your imperfections is the ladder to self-realization, self-gratitude and uniqueness.

Say these positive affirmations

Today, I resolve to believing that I am worth it
I believe that I have value
I believe that my dreams will come to pass
I believe that I am a full package of talents
I believe that I will be who I am meant to be

I have attached the podcast version to this letter, kindly listen and also like, share and comment. It’s always nice sending out these letters. Keep the energy moving.

Till next time

Warm regards,
Amanda Sibi.