Empathy; From Hell?

AN OPINION ON A PLATE

I once wrote about Empathy in a rather short twitter post and after reading it countlessly, I decided to do a broader version and give my two cents on the word; Empathy.

It wrote;

‘’Empathy is the ability to understand people, where they are coming from and what they believe in, even when you necessarily do not agree’’

Empathy has become a popular word on the lips of many people, I am sure you must have heard it in one way or the other, maybe from a person charging the government or a group of persons to be more empathetic to the feelings of others. However, the word Empathy has been given a narrow meaning, when in actual sense it is quite a broad topic, it stretches across various parts of life and how we interact with people daily.

So, Empathy is the ability to understand a person’s feelings and thoughts, their convictions and personalities, it is a way of life that makes you understand people for who they are without judging them. Empathy makes it easy to place yourself in the position of others, to try to feel what they are feeling, to accept the decisions of others even when you do not agree. There is one thing about Empathy, it is the fact that is not hurtful or treacherous, it is not bitter and vain, it holds no grudges and inflicts no pain, instead, it stands out to feel the emotions of others in a way that can help them, so Empathy is not from hell.

Whenever you try to understand what others are going through, when you try to listen to a person speak about their issues, when you try to see things from the point of view of others, when you put yourself in their shoes or try to walk in it (only that we cannot), when you make efforts to let others express themselves, when you try your best to understand the perspectives of others, their principles, and personalities and why they are the way they are, you are said to have practiced empathy.

You know, Empathy makes it easy to be less judgmental with people, it makes it easy to caution yourself when speaking about people and their lives, it places you in a position where you feel their emotions and all they are going through. Do you ever sit and wonder what someone less privileged than you probably in terms of physical appearance, health, or someone who is dealing with a terminal illness is feeling? Have you ever tried to put yourself in the shoes of someone suffering from depression or post-traumatic stress disorder, it can be difficult for them but do you understand this?

How Empathetic have you been towards that friend or colleague of yours, are you constantly blaming them or trying to reason and see things from their side of the mirror? Empathy teaches us that we are not always right, that we should also learn to accept and respect the perspectives of others.

Let me tell you the story of the LIZARD IN MY BACKYARD, shortly after 10 am on Tuesday, the 25th of January 2022, I looked outside my sitting room window, exactly directly opposite the part that faced the backyard, I observed with keen attention a fine Lizard, struggling to stay alive, it was stuck in between metal zinc and at every point that it tried to move, the zinc scrapped part of its body and revealed some blood. I felt uncomfortable, at every point It moved, I felt terrible, I tried to think about what the Lizard was feeling at that moment, I then went to my backyard, picked a long wood and held down the zinc and with a quick response to its rescue, the Lizard ran sharply, stopped for split seconds, turned its head backward and ran off.

I felt that it turned to say thank you, or as a sign of appreciation. Now that's beside the point because I know you may be thinking that the Lizard in my backyard did not even know that I saved it, and that's why a lot of people are less empathetic today in this world and time because they seek validation of the people, they show empathy to, because they want appraisals for being empathetic, how unworthy.

Neuroscientists say that the emotional center perceives the feeling of others while the cognitive center tries to understand, why they feel that way, and how they can help most times. It means that it is one thing for a person to perceive another's emotion and a different thing to understand it. Empathy reflects on how you operate as a person in your home, family, society, friendships, relationships, marriage, offices, and even when bestowed with leadership roles. Empathy desires to see how you use it.

You may want to open your mind to the experience of others more often and try for a minute to ride on the horses they sit on, you may want to have decent and respectful conversations with people and understand their personalities, learn to listen without interruption or unveil your problems when someone is sharing theirs, you may also want to stop the habit of making people's problems or issues look less by saying "well, I have been there, mine was worse, you are not even experiencing anything", you may want to stop undermining peoples problems.  

Another important factor that makes us more empathetic to people is when we disown the god of bias, the bias makes it impossible to be empathetic, it brings upon us the strength to be judgmental, the bias makes us see people differently and turn a blind eye to what they are feeling just because we don't fancy something they do or believe in.

In some final words, I think it is safe to say that Empathy did not spring forth from hell, I don’t feel it has the power to accommodate something that carries such light, something that speaks good and right, something that makes people kinder to others, that prompts compassion for others. While many do not believe in hell or the religious meaning that surrounds it, it is also normal to state that we understand it to mean a place of excessive burning, fire, grief, pain, darkness, and wailing. Empathy does not sound like anything that came from this.

So, I urge everyone reading this article to be more empathetic to the people around you, it is something that gives inner peace and makes you more receptive to this world and the many people in it.

Go on and keep being empathetic, I hope you spread this aurora to the many who wish to grasp it and the many who need it.

Warm Regards,

Amanda Sibi.