Don't Conform, Don't lose yourself

“Why do we sometimes feel that we are less, if we don’t conform to this new world and its ridiculous dictates”.

Dear friend, I trust and hopefully believe that you are doing well, I bring you lots of love and concern and wish that this weekend is as memorable as the brightness and beauties of sun flowers.

I have often asked the question as to why its so important to just do what everyone is doing so you don’t feel left out, out of date or pounced upon by the social media critics, I have also wondered what it will be like to just live your life the way you perceive it and not pressure yourself to be like others or get swamped by the unrealistic standards out there.

I personally think it’s a personal decision, yea, to understand that you are enough and that you do not need to do whatever other people are doing to feel among or get it right. I guess it’s a personal realization something, feeling self-worth is the start of it, and the help we all need to perceive ourselves as enough without the world levelling up its insecurities at us.

I mean, I hear people say that being naked on social media is body positivity and what’s not, I hear people tear each other down and breed hate, I see people conform to the standard of “allow people do what they like, its none of your business” sincerely, its actually none of my business but you are my business, the fact that you are reading this newsletter makes you my business as I am your business. That’s why I urge you to never do things because everyone is doing it, if you went to the beach and took lovely photos and decided to let the world see it, let it be because you just want to and not because of one famous celebrity or influencer you have been trying to be like. But then again, I always take my reference back to Jesus and the type of simple life he lived, he wasn’t extravagant in his ways but he stood out quite alright, I mean they wanted him dead, so it means he was quite popular, doing the right thing and not forgetting who he was. He was also modest, and we have been asked as Christians to be like Christ because we were made in his image.

Dear friend, just incase you are not a Christian and you are wondering why I am just centered on my faith, please permit me to say, that incase you are of a different religion, please search for were modesty is discussed in it and find true wisdom as I have done with my faith, if you have no faith at all and do not believe in God, please permit me to say that God loves you anyway and welcomes you wholeheartedly to the wonders of his lovingkindness.

It is so easy to lose your identity, when you are living someone else’s life, it is terrible to be in such life, where you have to live each day pretending to be someone you are not, the fakeness and the panic attacks just to get in line, to be among and to get noticed.

But, its easier to take a book and write out your chapters based on the uniqueness of your personality, because no one can be like you, no one has your exact traits, no one can be as unique as another, it doesn’t just work, even twins with their many similarities have certain distinct qualities and personalities.

So why struggle to be what you are not, why memorize the opinions of others because that’s what’s trending on the internet and being against it is like setting fire to your head, even when you know that their opinions are against your principles and personality. But in the end, you actually must not air an opinion to everything right? So, it may seem to be that you are the one lighting the fire.

Its easy to lose yourself to this world, especially when you feel that not accepting a particular lifestyle of someone else may in turn mean that you get thrown out of the clique or caucus. However, saving yourself is more important than any clique or caucus, staying true to yourself will never throw you off balance, and even when you make mistakes, at least it’s comforting to know that you did them and not by the hand of someone else, a mere mortal like you, because you see this life? Its going to end one day and while people shout the anthem of “live your best life” I truly hope they haven’t forgotten that living your best life also means staying true to yourself, your principles, your morals and definitely your God.

I saw a post by Solomon Buchi where he asked people to commend women who do not show their nakedness on social media, while he made a lot of sense and was only trying to promote his faith and godly morals, he got some comments as to why he shouldn’t talk less about women who decided that showing their bodies was their way of being positive about how their bodies looked. This comment came from someone, I don’t know who but what I found is this;

People want to trend sometimes even under someone else’s shine
People want to be the only one saying something different
He or she probably wished to get likes and acclamation from the particular body positivists out there
Maybe they did.

It is not my style to bother about what someone else is wearing or what they are doing, but I think its my style to project my sweet energy of “don’t copy because that’s not you, don’t conform because that’s not you, do whatever because you want to and not because “skin and its giving” is trending”.

Staying true to yourself goes beyond what we see on social media, it means staying true even in your offices, to the people around you, it also means setting boundaries and placing limitations on how people access you too freely, it means telling people not to disrespect you, I heard someone say that she didn’t want to tell her friend that he had disrespected her because she was afraid of losing the friendship. Wow. I never want to see the day where I don’t tell my friends not to disrespect me, because what this means is that we are no longer friends and I am just pretending, how do I call someone my friend and cannot tell them the truth about how they make me feel. Food for thought.

So dear friend, understand that being judge is wrong, I don’t judge people, I laugh sometimes when I see certain excesses and just say a prayer in my heart that they see more clearly next time, so please don’t go judging everyone around you but I think you can create boundaries, because the lifestyle of the people in your much adored circle can rub off its nuisance on you, if you are deep down searching for answers as to how you became so vain and world driven, please take some time to reconsider.

I am sending you the best hugs ever and wish to let you know that you are the best of your kind, and you certainly don’t need to behave like me or anyone else, copy my lifestyle or that of someone else to stand out.

There is a certain life designed for we children of God, and its that of love, peace, prosperity, joy, laughter, mercy, grace, saving and truth in God’s word. All these comes with living your best life, jollying and having fun, telling people about God and how he is awesome, but I really don’t see any part that has to do with this vain, unscrupulous world and the many people who wish to drag you down with them.

I have not attached the podcast of this newsletter to this mail, because of unforeseen circumstances. Kindly like, share, comment and keep the energy moving.

Till Next Time,

Warm Regards,
Amanda Sibi.